


Enough

by RainyMonday



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, K1-Fears appearing in reality, Tony Stark Bingo 2019, Tony Stark Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 04:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18613291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainyMonday/pseuds/RainyMonday
Summary: *****Spoilers for Avengers: Endgame******Tony Stark still puts on the gauntlet, knowing he will die. Only that this time, he doesn't."He hoped there would still be time to say goody-bye.These stones could have killed the Hulk and he was, after all, only human. No super soldier, no god, just man."





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everybody!  
> Still devastated from Endgame? Me too…  
> I just watched it, went home, wrote this and watched Iron Man 1 while editing. I am somehow in ruins but also feel like that conclusion of Tony Stark’s character development made so much sense. How could a person willing to fly a nuclear bomb not sacrifice himself? Still, I feel like they could have saved him easily in many ways. While watching the movie, I had to think about the scene in Guardian of the Galaxy 1 in which they are strong enough together to wield the power stone. Then I remembered that really beautiful scene from Avatar in which Jack becomes part of the Na’vi (https://blog.inf.ed.ac.uk/atate/2012/01/21/navi-clans-in-second-life/ that’s the scene I’m talking about) and thought that that would be the perfect ending, the Avengers assembling and being strong enough to save him while delivering some amazing picture. So as that obviously didn’t happen, here is my take on it (not beta read, obvisouly, it's 3am)
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading!

Just one finger. He would have never thought that such a tiny gesture could ever mean the world to him, made him relieved and scared all at the same time.  
He could read it in Strange’s eyes and suddenly it all made sense.  
Why he gave up the time stone to save him, to lead him to this. One in 14 million possibilities and this was the only way. He had feared - a dark thing humming in the back of his head, whispering to him how they had been wrong, defeated once again, turned into ashes - that they could not beat the odds. That they were desperately clinging to a hope they should have lost long ago, that he had risked everything for a lie they had told themselves to ease the hurt.

Just one gesture and everything changed.  
He knew he could beat the odds, beat that image that had been gnawing in his head for years, all his friends shattered and dead. This was the one time and he knew how would end. They would win.  
Pepper and Morgan would be safe and Earth no longer needed a mantle of steel to protect it, because they had had Iron Man, the Man of Steel.

He didn’t consider another option when he saw that finger, didn’t listen to Friday’s calculations, to her proposals that would all inevitably lead them to die.  
All he did was to wish he’d had more time. Time to see Morgan grow up and Pepper grow old, time to go to Peter’s graduation and to advise Steve Rodgers on better pants. Time to be part of the future he would create.  
But there was no time for him left, he had already used whatever had remained on his account and he didn’t regret. Not when it all let to this one in a 14 million chance.  
He hoped there would still be time to say goody-bye. These stones could have killed the Hulk and he was, after all, only human. No super soldier, no god, just man.

Whatever it took.

The gauntlet had never felt heavier when he finally had it. Like destiny. Inevitably in a way Thanos hadn’t imagined.  
The Titan looked at him the way a man does when he knows he has been defeated but cannot quite wrap his head around the reason why. Tony can tell him. It’s because he sacrificed a daughter, killed her for his own needs when they had to watch Natasha sacrifice herself voluntarily for them knowing they couldn’t have stopped her, couldn’t bring her back.  
He did not attack Thanos to just take the gauntlet to play hide and seek. Thanos should have known that would he have been able to understand compassion. He didn’t and that was what led him to fail.

The power tore at him, ripping at his skin, muscles and organs, right through his armor, eating on his body like a wild, starving beast. He wasn’t enough.  
Panic filtered in somewhere through the pain, panic that it would take and Incredible Hulk or a Captain America to wield this raw power. Panic that in the end he was still not good enough to save Earth, that whatever he did he was doomed to fail. He could not focus on moving, on anything besides the forces tearing him apart in a whirlwind, faster than the time he had left. It couldn’t be.

He willed himself to be that Man of Steel they needed now but stealth did not keep away the pain.  
The Iron Man was nothing without the arc reactor and the arc reactor was proof that Tony Stark had a heart. So, he clung to that, clung to Pepper’s smile and Morgan’s love for goodnight stories, to Cap’s language, Barton’s family and their old tractor in that even older barn, Bruce his friend and colleague, Nat’s sacrifice. All that he had left coiled tight inside his chest, everything that truly made him iron, what made him put on that gauntlet knowing how it would end. What made him move a hand that should have long crushed beneath all that power.  
He knew it would be over as soon as he snapped because then there was nothing left to cling on to because they were safe and he had won. Winning never meant he would live. It meant they would. But instead, when he was ready to let go, they decided to cling on to him.

Some part of him was fading like the army in front of him faded, finally revealing the sky again. He remembered the joy of flying for the first time, nearly killing himself. For a dying man, he couldn’t be happier while the Infinity Stones raged through him. And then he came.  
They hadn’t talked about it and he regretted that now, hadn’t really sorted things out and never would. Too many words not said. But war did that to men, rendered them silent when the still had so much to say. He wanted to speak but couldn’t, his mind desperately searching through all the last words he had said, scared that somehow, he hadn’t said “I love you” often enough. Who ever had?

The hand on his shoulder was salvation and pain all at the same time, it burned on his ruined skin and took away the weight of a broken friendship. Somehow, it also took away some of the pain, made him vanish a little slower, gifted him some time, last words maybe if he was strong enough. All he got out was an incomprehensible whisper.

His vision had started to grow foggy and black whilst his eyes still tried to take in the wonder of the battle won. He saw a figure darting towards him, saw red hair and realized that this time, he didn’t have to call Pepper because she was there. Everybody was there.  
Her fingers brushed over the mess the stones had caused to what had once been flesh protected by armor. No armor could shield from death, it was only an illusion of safety, even more painful when a soldier realized he was vulnerable in it just the same. He felt her shock and grief more than he saw it.  
But again, relief filled him. The Captain was shouting something but all just blurred away. He couldn’t stand anymore and tumbled over. He didn’t even feel touching the ground. More people were coming towards him, feet in his limited angle of view. He wished he could see their faces.

At least they assembled one last time.

For a genius it took him an incredibly long amount of time to understand what they were doing. For a man dying, his brain was still functioning surprisingly well.  
Another hand touched his arm, voices blurred like under water surrounded him. Peter, Rhodney, Bruce, Thor, Clint, they were all willing to stand with him. Whatever it took.

He tried to fight them off because they would fade too and he couldn’t allow that when he did just save them. He was too weak to move, too weak to even blink or speak. They should not die for him, should nor risk all their lives for a single one. He didn’t want that. Nat wouldn’t want it.

He doesn’t know afterwards if he only dreamt about crying or if he actually did, he couldn’t even remember blacking out, just exhaustion. He thought that was what dying felt like.  
In fact, it only was what almost dying felt like.

When he came back, a shock of light and faces, noises and voices he couldn’t quite separate, his first thought was that he did fail them, took them with him to death.  
But then he heard sobbing. If there was heaven, he was pretty sure there was no reason to sob up there. Which meant he was alive. Which meant that it had been enough.  
Enough stupidity and stubbornness assembled to take such a risk to save him, enough people willing to be stubborn and stupid enough just for him.  
Enough friends, enough family doing whatever they could.  
And enough time to watch all these people live the lives the deserved and mourn those who would have deserved them.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this a fix-it? I feel bad for not bringing Nat back, but the only other option I could possibly think of is just throwing Red Skull in there…  
> I also decided to use this story to fill in a prompt for my Tony Stark Bingo sheet (finally!). The prompt was “fears appearing in reality” because I do believe that all of this was exactly what Tony was scared of the whole time only that he did manage to stop it from getting worse


End file.
